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💥💥 LIMITED AVAILABILITY — NOVEMBER VITALITY RESET 💥💥 (In Studio Austin Metroplex)
offered in person
QR Code Link to This Post
(Translation: Don’t steal my stuff unless you’re prepared to have your karma and your quads stretched in court. 🐍⚖️)
🧠 2-Hour Mobility + Circulation Reset (No Cups) — $260
Book online only:
👉 https://www.massagebook.com/joannairislmt/massage/deals/November-Vitality-Reset-No-Cups-Masculine-Vitality-Restoration-/185105
Ask yourself before booking:
Do I want to keep moving like a wet noodle… that floppy pasture-pony energy — I’m talkin’ that stallion stride that makes the whole herd stop mid-chew like, ‘Well, damn.’ 🐎🔥
If yes — keep reading. If not, go stretch in denial.
✅ What You Get:
• Deep fascia mobility (your body’s “unmute” button 🎤)
• Hip + psoas release (the part your chair’s been slowly assassinating)
• Low-back decompression (hallelujah)
• Improved breath + posture (hello oxygen, my old friend)
• Circulation activation (because numb legs aren’t a personality trait)
• Zero marks • No cups • 100% legit
Strictly professional. Advanced bodywork. Results so good your body might text you “thank you.” 📈
✅ Who This Is For:
✔️ Men who want to actually feel alive again
✔️ Desk jockeys, athletes, or anyone shaped like their office chair
✔️ Those prepping for the holidays before stress chews their spine like taffy
✔️ Respectful men who can follow directions like civilized adults
✅ Who This Isn’t For:
❌ Price shoppers (go compare Groupon, I’ll wait 🙃)
❌ Boundary pushers (I will professionally yeet your energy into the sun ☀️)
❌ Anyone seeking “extras” — the only happy ending here is circulation
✅ Availability:
2 hours • $260
Only 30 slots this month — when they’re gone, they’re gone.
And so is your flexibility, if you keep pretending it’ll fix itself.
Book online only:
👉https://www.massagebook.com/joannairislmt/massage/deals/November-Vitality-Reset-No-Cups-Masculine-Vitality-Restoration-/185105
📲 Text 737-704-4659 — type “STALLION ENERGY"
Safe • Professional • Results-Driven ✅
Book or learn more: 👉 www.JoannaIrisLMT.com ALL Social Media Platforms @JOANNAIRISLMT
Respectfully rebellious,
Joanna Iris, LMT (MT130698)
Clinical Bodywork for Men | Masculine Vitality Restoration™